catyuy

My grandma died today.

So my Grandmother was admitted to the hospital again yesterday. I found out in an email at work. I spent most of the day worrying that she might die. The worst thing is the my Grandpa's birthday is on Nov 1st and if she dies then it will only crush him all the more. But I finished work trying to think positive that she'll be fine and so will he.

So I went over to my mother and sister's house. The sister was in a bad mood so I quickly went to mom's room. I've been trying to get mom interested in a show I like so we can watch new episodes together (not that I don't love watching old Murder She Wrote eps). She was kinda meh about Glee, so we've been watching season 1 of Once Upon a Time.

We were in the middle of an episode when my sister walks in and asks me if I got the email about Grandma. I said yes and she said she just wants to make sure I'm prepared. Because apparently my family worries about me breaking down if she or any of the family dies. I told my sister I had no interest in thinking about it at that moment and she said I should think about it. I told I think about it constantly and really just wanted to relax. After that she left the room and mom discussed it a little with me.

But after that I couldn't just relax and watch the show so I left and mom caught up on more episodes by herself. I don't want to think about the possibilities but I do almost constantly and I do confess that I might melt down when it happens but I don't think any mental preparedness will make anything better.